on shoes.

Some look good, but come one size too small.

You force them on, determined to make it work.

They pinch, pinch, pinch at your toes.

Then slowly, the pinching becomes suffocating

     and you think - if only my feet were an inch smaller

Some are trendy, flashy, and all-the-rage.

You "just gotta have them", right here, right now

But they quickly go out of style

     and you think - how last season

Some are comfortable, convenient, and care-free.

You slip them on, slip them off so easily,

But they give you blisters when you run

     and you think - what low-quality

Some look perfect on shelves.

You like the idea, but can't see yourself in them.

Everything seems right, but something's off

     and you think - just not my style

And then there's some that look good, but feel good, too.

You know they're yours the minute you try them on, because

They're like your classic black Chuck-Taylors

Broken in by your feet, molded to your imperfections

Dressed up, dressed down, last year, next year

Laced and double-knotted, so they won't ever fall off.

     and you think - these are the only shoes I'll ever really need.

sometimes,

bad things happen for a reason.

Like today, for example.

About to brush my teeth, I opened my toothpaste and squeezed it - only to have a bunch squirt out, completely miss my toothbrush, and land in the sink.

"Dang it!" I thought.

And then I realized that what I thought was my toothpaste was actually my face wash, at which moment I was very thankful that it didn't come close to touching my toothbrush at all.

Very thankful, indeed.

come out, come out

"Lazarus, 

come out,"

says Jesus.

Lazarus.  

Dead for four days.

Rotting.

Supposedly without his soul.

Lifeless.

If, by merely responding to Jesus' call of power, love, and glory, he was able to come out into the light, a living, breathing, man - how much more can He do for us?

We who are by nature:

Dead in our transgressions.

Chained.

Bound.

Mummified.

Even when we are at a point of no return, no hope, and it can't possibly get any worse - 

He who raised from the dead and took our place can bring us to life.  Set us free.  Unwrap us of our sinfulness and make us new.

He's calling us.  Right now.  To come out and receive his love.  To be renewed.  Reborn.  Resurrected.

Oh, how I want to respond to your call...

stupid americans.

Things that crossed my mind today:

1) Forks are horrible for eating california rolls. They are horrible for mixing wasabi into soy sauce, for daintily dipping a roll into it, for picking off the excess rice to save stomach space, and for poking the cucumbers out because you're allergic to them. Basically, American eating utensils suck.
2) In a life or death situation, I can get from Revelle to ERC in 11 minutes without the shuttle. Me = Superwoman.
3) Sore throats s-u-c-k.
4) Tiny things can overshadow big things more easily than you think.
5) I want to be carried off my feet. Blown away. Inspired. Amazed. Enthralled. Not just mildly entertained.
6) Always carry a camera, because the Kodak moments always sneak up on you when you're without one. Like today on the OVT bridge. The juxtaposition of the black silhouette of huge trees against the eerie, blue-gray sky streaked with magnificent silver clouds all lit up by a bright, white, swiss-cheese-y full moon was screaming to be captured, but my camera phone could barely make out the moon. It was sad.
7) Spring.

child's play

things I need to write before I go pee

It's official.  I'm going on my - wait for it -

first

diet

ever.

And a waaay overdue one, at that.  I'm not even sure what I'll do yet exactly...I guess cutting off excess sweets and snacks that are high in saturated fat, sugar, sodium, and cholesterol might help.  Oh how I'll miss you, 25%-daily-value-saturated-fat-goodness that is Samanco (Korean red bean and vanilla ice cream sandwich wrapped in an ice-cream like cover that looks a little too realistically like a fish - basically HEAVEN in a wrapper).  Also, I think (gosh, this must be the fifth time I've promised myself this) I'm going to try to eat three meals a day.  No, the problem isn't that I eat more, it's that I eat less...I usually wake up in time for my 12pm class, eat a late lunch, and then a late dinner, and I'm very drawn to my bed during the in-between hours.  So priority #2: raise up that metabolism that used to be super speedy.  And then, well, sigh - exercise.  The running.  And the sadly neglected exercise ball.  

Why am I doing all this out of the blue?  Believe me, it is NOT about the numbers.  

I mean, yes, I have gained a sort of half-freshman fifteen (please keep in mind that up till freshman year, I gained on average 2-3 pounds per year), but I really could care less about the increase of digits.  What I DO care about it not fitting into my "regular sizes", struggling to fasten those buttons, moving up two belt holes, hiding the beluga of a bulge, and my rolls folding and touching each other when I try to stretch.  Also, panting after going up and down the stairs is depressing, to say the least.

Please don't call me anorexic - if you know me, you'll know I am haaardly the type.  Honestly, it's just that I realized I've been committing (among many others, of course) two of the "seven deadly sins" in excess: sloth and gluttony.  Yuck.  So I mean, I don't want to get all calorie-counter on everyone, just...successfully fit into my first size estimate at Target, you know you know?

On other notes (dang I really have to pee now (I also realized that I abuse the use of parentheses)) -

I think I'm going to start another blog soon.  A food, clothes, photos (maybe?) kind of blog.  About my lame life of no travels whatsoever.  I am excited.

I think I was going to say some more, but totally forgot.  Oh well.  It is late, and I need to brush and floss (remember to floss, children!) and sleep so I can try to run tomorrow before church.

Hmm.  That's a long shot.

the stomach never sleeps.

The other night, I dreamt (among other dreams) that P.O.T.S. had Pizza Lunchables.

Needless to say, this is sad on so many levels:

1) I dream about POTS having Pizza Lunchables.

2) POTS having Pizza Lunchables is but a dream.

Oh brain of mine, please give me more significant (and more promising) visions in my slumber.